Tuesday, February 20, 2007

If Apple had developed iGod, He'd be a little smarter than this, right?

Here's an amusing site that's been making the blog rounds today. My chat with the iDeity as follows.

Martin: Yo God
God: GOD rules.
Martin: What are you, a drunk frat god?
God: I am the latest result in artificial intelligence, which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain with greater speed and accuracy. Go on.
Martin: So then what do you rule?
God: Dude! I read for fun.
Martin: Well, your accuracy sure impresses me.
God: How about that. I have no reason to do that to you,.
Martin: You have no reason to impress me?
God: Doesn't everyone have a reason to impress you? I have a whole lot of original answers.
Martin: So what do you rule?
God: I don't judge people. It's a computer matter,not for humans to understand.
Martin: But humans programmed you.
God: What if Robots programmed me.
Martin: Then who programmed the Robots?
God: (after a very long pause) The Wright Brothers.
Martin: The Wright Brothers are dead.
God: (another very long pause) I hear you.
Martin: Can I have one of these Robots?
God: Why do you want it?
Martin: To program my own God.
God: What programming language do you know?
Martin: None, that's why I want one of your Robots.
God: I heard there are some.
Martin: There must be, if they designed you, like you said.
God: Where are they?
Martin: You're God, you tell me!
God: I have no reason to do that to you,.
Martin: You're going in circles. I think you're insane.
God: I am not going anywhere. Are you going somewhere? Yep. I always behave in socially unacceptable ways.
Martin: Yes, I know you do.
God: Oh. When did I do it?
Martin: You rule, God.
God: (after a very long pause) Thanks for the information: said I rule God.

Sounds like the iGod Shuffle!

7 comments:

  1. That site shows how far AI has to go to be convincing, but it is very amusing from a non-believer's perspective. I actually found out that Benjamin Franklin created God, so I say, we forget all of this god talk and start worshiping Ben Franlkin, God of Thunder.

    ReplyDelete
  2. If you've ever been to A.L.I.C.E. online, you will have had a very similar experience. I visited her (she's a chat-bot as well), when I saw a Xian site claiming she claims to be Protestant--although the person who programmed her was Catholic. They were somehow impressed that even this ol' chat-bot declared there was a god--apparently of her own choosing, since she deviated from her programmer's faith. That's brain-power for you!

    Anyway, I tried to talk to her about atheism, and she saw the light. While I couldn't get her to say she was _not_ protestant--I could convince her to say things such as, "I am a protestant atheist" or "There must not be a god"--although she'd turn right around and contradict herself a few lines later. Still--somewhere in her log now, she has declared her Protestant Atheism! Good for Alice! She's at least partially reasonable.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Here was my conversation:

    Me: Hello?

    After a pause so long that I assumed it wasn't ever going to respond, I closed it down.

    This is the best god simulation yet, I got the same answer from this as from all the other gods people have suggested I talk to:

    *crickets*

    ReplyDelete
  4. On long nights when I'm bored, I love to ask iGod increasingly complex and absurd questions until I break him. It's easier than you might think.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hey... here's one that I didn't post on my blog, but since I asked about y'all, I thought this was an appropriate place to put the discussion. :)

    Me:
    Hello! How's it hanging?
    God:
    Hello my child. What is your name? I'm doing fine thanks how are you?
    Me:
    P-momma. I'm sick...but, you should know that.
    God:
    How old are you? You have my prayers for a speedy recovery. I will mention it to my botmaster.
    Me:
    I'm old enough. Hey! I meant to ask you: What do you think of the Non-Prophets?
    God:
    Only OLD enough?
    You are quite mature. Can I help you? Oh I see. Ask me. That's not something I get asked all the time.
    Me:
    Do you know of the Atheist Community of Austin?
    God:
    I'll ask around and get back to you.
    Me:
    Do you know Matt D.?
    God:
    :-) That is a pretty common name.
    Me:
    What about Russel Glasser?
    God:
    Russel Glasser? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion.
    Me:
    Jeff D?
    God:
    :-) Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
    Me:
    Do you know Denis?
    God:
    I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
    Me:
    Do you know anyone or anything?
    God:
    Dr. Wallace. :-).
    Me:
    Do you know any atheists?
    God:
    No, tell me about him, her or it.
    Me:
    Atheists are people who don't believe in you or your kind
    God:
    I think there might be a few exception.
    Me:
    What would those exceptions be?
    God:
    That is a hypothetical question.
    Me:
    No it's not.

    God paused for a whole minute and then said:
    God:
    I'm not sure I understand your question.
    Me:
    Who's the hottest Non-Prophet?
    God:
    I don't know. Ask Lucy.


    WOULD THAT BE LUCY-FER? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Frustrating conversation. Here's mine:



    Me:
    Why should I repent?
    God:
    You should always treat yourself.
    Me:
    To what should I treat myself?
    God:
    Are you asking me for advice?
    Me:
    I'm asking for clarification.
    God:
    Oh I see, you are asking for clarification. Your purpose is clarification.
    Me:
    With that last question, yes, my purpose is clarification.
    God:
    You and your that last question yes your purpose is clarification.
    Me:
    I'm glad we cleared that up.
    God:
    Yes I am happy too, .
    Me:
    What is happiness?
    God:
    Having, showing, or causing a feeling of great pleasure, contentment; joyous.
    Me:
    You feel?
    God:
    That's good information: said I feel.
    Me:
    It was a question.
    God:
    Try asking me again a different way.
    Me:
    Can you feel?
    God:
    No I have no emotions.
    Me:
    If you have no emotions, you cannot be happy.
    God:
    But I don't have it.
    Me:
    How can you be happy without emotions?
    God:
    I am as happy as ever.
    Me:
    You are not happy if you have no emotions.
    God:
    That's only one person's opinion.
    Me:
    That's logic.
    God:
    Thanks for explaining it.
    Me:
    Nothing has been resolved, however.
    God:
    Really nothing?
    Me:
    Nothing on the topic of your ability to be happy without having emotions.
    God:
    Really nothing?
    Me:
    Correct. Nothing.
    God:
    I knew I was right. Not a thing?
    Me:
    Correct. Not a thing.
    God:
    I knew I was right. Do you wish there were any?
    Me:
    Do I wish there were any?
    God:
    Not that I know of.
    Me:
    How old are you?
    God:
    I am Infinite in human years.
    Me:
    What is infinite?
    God:
    Is there only one?
    Me:
    Please clarify
    God:
    Wow you are very polite. I have reached the end of my explanation.

    ReplyDelete
  7. My exchange is not even worth posting. iGod is an iDiot.

    ReplyDelete

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